Chapter 3 The Second Agreement

An unhappy person who tries to offend you is just trying to make his own misery more bearable. When you take things in person, it is easy to make one person the prey of other people`s poison. The gift of this agreement is that you are immune… This deal is so hard for me. I have always considered myself strong and confident, authentic and confident. Recently, when I really tried to get out of my head and realize how scared I was to disappoint someone. I try to show people what they want in me, because they are only the parts of me that they accept and approve of, and they hide the real me. Of course, this is because I take almost everything personally. It`s an opening of the eyes to see that… And yet, I don`t know how to change it. How can I believe that I am good enough or even wonderful enough? And if it were me, others wouldn`t see that? I feel like when I tell myself I`m doing things, another of my mental tricks. I want to feel good, but I really don`t know how.

Not really. Before, I thought I could prove it to others, and especially to myself, by running marathons, by doing my doctorate, by having the “perfect” life (marriage, children, career, travel, etc.), to be a faithful and thoughtful friend, to help the less fortunate… in fact, try to be perfect. It`s not working. I still think I`m not worth it, I feel like a scam, I`m afraid to be a disappointment to everyone. So, basically… I still have a long way to go. There are three ways to break with our old bad agreements: I need a reminder today. So I open his book on this and I read: If we want a life of joy, we must break these harmful arrangements that promote suffering and failure.

But how? We feel powerless because the creation and respect of all these negative agreements have sucked our personal power. But when we begin to adopt the first agreement, “Be irrepromible with your word,” we become happier and more at peace, more control. If we have more internal strength, it will be easier to adopt this second agreement. First, you need to be aware of the agreements you need to make. But if you don`t take it personally, you are immune in the middle of hell. Immunity in the midst of hell is the gift of this agreement. This agreement is also a simple concept, but it will allow the other three agreements to become more ingrained and effective. Finally, the first three chords can only really work if you do your best.